All I want for Christmas…. Is to be happy
“The farmer gets a wife – yes fairy tales really do come true!”
True Story supplied by Alvia Turney CEO of Act4Tomorrow Separations Specialist:
This time last year, a past client of mine now, said to me “all I want for Christmas is to be happy.” Who would have known then that just one year later I am so thrilled that I can share the fairy tale story of Edith.
When Edith came to me see me two years ago she was sad and introverted, she spoke so quietly that I had to ask her to repeat what she was saying as I couldn’t quite catch her words. Now this ‘church mouse’ is happy, vibrant and looking forward to her new ‘happily ever after life’.
Edith left her then husband after 42 years of marriage after many years of unhappiness, deceit and disrespect. Her happy go-lucky, fun-self had been lost over time and she soldiered on “because that’s what you do isn’t it?” She said, “ You marry for life, better or worse. We had 4 children together and just because I felt neglected and sad, I didn’t think that was a good enough reason to leave. I needed something more than that.” Edith’s long awaited way-out came when, whilst using their home computer, her long running suspicions were confirmed. Edith had discovered the shocking deception of her ex-husbands secret lifestyle.
Edith admits that after such a long marriage she felt somewhat institutionalised. She was afraid to leave – what would her husband say and do? Would she be able to survive alone financially? What would her friends at church say?
She felt a failure that her marriage was falling apart. When Edith came to see me, she had already taken the first step in her marriage separation. She had moved in with one of her married children, but she was full of fear for her future, her self-esteem was rock bottom and the sadness was written all over her sweet face. After we had completed her financial settlement and divorce, Edith moved to her own small place. She shared with me that she was not looking for a new partner and was quite happy to now be a bigger part of her children and grandchildren’s lives, however fate had decided otherwise.
Edith’s joy of life was returning, I found that she had such a cheeky sense of humor and it was lovely to hear she was back singing in the choir, had started going dancing and was joining in on other group activities. “Well, you have to get up and get on with it, no one likes a misery” she told me. Then out of curiosity, Edith thought she would try on-line dating. Edith found the first couple of sites so direct they made her uncomfortable so she quickly cancelled her subscription and was just about to throw the towel in when she logged onto a site which encompassed ones interests and history.
Having come from a rural background, growing up in Blackbutt, Edith and David, a far north Queensland farmer, hit it off on their first emails. David in old fashioned style travelled down to meet his mystery lady in Brisbane, armed with a bouquet of pink carnations and a bottle of Mateus. The next few months past in a romantic whirlwind and then it was time to meet each other’s family. Edith’s trepidation and old wounds healed under David’s respectful, old-fashioned values, manners and courtship.
On one visit to far north Queensland, they headed out from David’s farm cottage on horseback to a river location. Setting down, David builds a fire, fills a billy and made his girl a cup of tea. Amongst the beautiful bush back drop, David turns to Edith and says “Would you do me the honor of becoming my wife?” Edith shared with me, in her soft voice, “I am moving back to the country to live with him, he’s got the nicest home which is the simplest thing, it is all I’ve ever wanted.” She put her hand on her heart and said “it feels good in side, I didn’t think such men still existed, I am really happy’.
Wow Act4Tomorrow has its first wedding! I asked her if she had any words of inspiration for others going through a break-up. “I have never regretted leaving for even a second, everyone has their own time, it is scary but as with every difficult situation it does comes to an end and something new begins”.
At Act4Tomorrow, we are not advocates for separating. We are advocates for make-up or break-up, living a happy life with a partner you love and who loves you.
Act4Tomorrow supports individuals/couples throughout the process of a relationship separation. From break-up, through to negotiations of property settlement, to divorce. We aim to maintain civil communications; Our objective is to avoid litigation and therefore minimise the legal and emotional cost to the couple, as well as the family.