Blog

LIFE’S ABOUT BEING HAPPY AND HAVING FUN!

Can you be happy all the time? A beautiful new friend of mine shared his belief about living a purposeful and positive life – ‘If you want your life to be a happy one full of fun and it’s not then you’re doing it wrong, either the situation, people or your perception’. What was the first thought that came into your mind when you read the statement can[...]

Read more


You Can Never Be Too Much Of Who You Are

You are just right the way you are. Someone recently said to me that their partner had said to them ‘you are a little too much’. How can you tell when are you a little too much? Are you too much when as a child your parents get you to tone down your music, make-up, change friends? Or at work when your enthusiasm is dismissed on the job?[...]

Read more


CAN YOU JUST BE YOURSELF? – Remove or Improve

If your life is not exactly as you’d like it to be, your relationship is not a place you go running home to or your job is something you turn up without enthusiasm STOP and take a look at who you are in these situations. Who are you these days?  Life, work, relationships, children, partners, society and time has helped turn you into..….who? If you are not being ‘YOU’ with[...]

Read more


SEPARATE WITHOUT BREAKING – Emotionally OR Financially

The best people to take advice from are those who have learned by their mistakes and experience.At Act 4 Tomorrow we teach people there is a better way to separate.Together we will work with you through the entire process. We can assure you it is possible to experience fairness, respect and open negotiations during these trying times, all factors which will aid the healing process and help you[...]

Read more


BE PREPARED – Preparation Before Implementation

Divorce/Separations/Break-ups It’s sensible to identify all assets and liabilities, take some basic steps prior to the actual discussion to separate. Make a list of everything you jointly or individually own Credit cards Print or download financial statements Renting – Have a copy of the lease. Do you know passwords and pin numbers? Who needs to know? Where will you or your partner live? When will you/partner see your[...]

Read more


If The Shoe Doesn’t Fit – Must we change the foot???

We have all bought a new pair of shoes, which, when tried on in the shop fit perfectly. You wear them out and they look great, feel just fine, but after a couple of hours they are rubbing your heel or pinching at your toes and the pain is quite unbearable – ouch how did this happen? Where did that uncomfortable, piercing pain come from? You try again[...]

Read more


How Are You Affected By The 5 Closest People Around You

How are you affected by the 5 closest people around you and have you considered how you may be affecting them? Recently, I heard that the five closest people to us have an enormous influence on our behaviour, emotional state, choices, ambition, motivation, the list is endless. At first, I thought, no, that can’t be completely correct, surely, I make up my own mind about the things I[...]

Read more


DOWN THAT SAME OLD ROAD – Going Off Road

“You have been down there, you know that road, you know exactly where it ends and I know that’s not where you want to be.” – From the movie ‘The Matrix 1 Trinity to Neo’. Going down the same old road and coming to the same destination is absolutely fine and 100% satisfactory if the destination point is where you want to be.  But what if you don’t? Do[...]

Read more


One Day At A Time – One Minute At A Time

“So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Matthew 6:34 Living one day at a time is the same concept as how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time! Living day-by-day, moment-by-moment removes the trap of spending time worrying about what may never happen. You no longer experience living in fear of the “what if” this[...]

Read more


NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS – Fake It Till You Make It!

Every year we make New Year resolutions and most of us fail to make good on these before January is out! Before you set plans in place for 2019, maybe run a Self-diagnostic test: – Reflect on your attitude, your health, friends, work, and personal relationships. What would you like to change or remove in 2019? Will you be happy if you experience the same year all over[...]

Read more


Why Willpower Doesn’t Work – Why Changing Your Mindset Does

Using willpower to overcome habits and addictions is way too difficult, why? Because you basically still have the habit/addiction/behaviour but are attempting to use willpower to ‘control’ your habit. Examples of well-known addictions are; food, gambling, smoking, drugs, alcohol, shopping. Other not well-known addictions are; staying in unhealthy relationships, lying, working too much, avoiding making changes in your current situation…. As willpower does not remove the desire component[...]

Read more


BY WHAT OTHER NAME CAN YOU CALL IT – The Effect A Label Has On You

Words are powerful and so are the names by which we label things.A variety of events, circumstances and activities come into our life every day. How we label these events determines our attitude and emotional response towards them. We are affected either positively or negatively, simply by what we are calling ‘the event’. In an instant you can feel totally differently about ‘the event’ just by changing its label.[...]

Read more


Heavy Baggage – Dragging Around Bags of Guilt and Hope

Two emotions which I constantly hear about are guilt and hope. You will probably agree without a second thought that a relationship should be free of guilt but should it be free of hope?Bag of GuiltI read recently that guilt is a manmade emotion, this means that guilt is not really what you feel about a given situation but what ‘the outside world’ is making you believe you[...]

Read more


Bucket Lists and Bucket Full

What is in your bucket list and what have you got a bucket full of? Do I have a bucket list? Well, yes I do … At the moment there is not too much on it; however, I wouldn’t say no to a trip to the Maldives, travelling 5 Star, and a brand new F-Type Jaguar! And what would I empty out of my bucket full? Now that[...]

Read more


Chin up, look and listen

What treasures around you are you missing? I am extremely lucky to live in one of the most beautiful locations in the world as well as ridiculously fortunate to live walking distance to the beach. I walk my dog most mornings just after sun up and enjoy watching the sky change colour and glistening on the ocean. I have walked this breath-taking walk literally hundreds of times and[...]

Read more


Relationships are a bit like Porridge

Goldilocks ate scrambled eggs!Whilst reflecting on our relationships, staying in them, suffering them, choosing new ones I suddenly saw it like Goldilocks in the fairy story choosing porridge. Cold porridge is the relationship which should be scraped into the dogs bowl as they are yucky and cold and no one really wants to eat cold porridge. Medium warm porridge is perfect to eat and makes you feel good[...]

Read more


Knowing What You Don’t Want, Gives You What You Do Want

So many self-help books tell us to focus on what we want from a parking space to a new relationship. Visualise the big picture and see it happen right before your eyes, apparently you deserve it! I do subscribe to this theory and have always managed to score that premium parking spot, ever since I can remember. However, although it works it has fallen short on occasions, as[...]

Read more


It’s Not You It’s Me

Grab their gift, smile and wave them goodbye!“It’s not you it’s me”, within a nanosecond we turn that statement around and make it all about us.  Even if they don’t want you, it’s not about you it is about them not wanting you. But oh no we just can’t help ourselves and ask ‘WHY don’t they want me?’ our next moves are usually playing the self-pity party, abandonment,[...]

Read more


What If vs What Is

It’s a no brainer!How much time do you spend worrying, deliberating about what if  this or that happened? How many times do the what if’s actually happen? Until they do they are only a thought, an idea that might or might not ever happen which has been created in your mind. Spending time over what might and might not happen takes up so much unproductive time, it is[...]

Read more


Say It In 5 Words Or Less

More than that is just blah blah blahThis concept of say it in 5 words or less came to me as a result of repeating information to my dear Father who has dementia. My lovely Mother was getting extremely tired and frustrated explaining things to him in every detail, over and over again. Most questions can be answered in 5 words or less and it is also an[...]

Read more