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It’s Mine

It’s Mine “It’s mine” are two words which come up during many separation discussions.  It is funny how (but not really) once the conversation of saying it is over, yesterday’s thoughts of ‘together’ and ‘we are one’ evaporate in an instance. It is fascinating to see how many seemingly fair, rational, caring people suddenly revert to a toddler’s mindset, with the same determination, when they demand ‘it’s mine’.[...]

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Be Involved In Things You’d Do For Free

If you were involved in a volunteer position you would pick something you were passionate about. You would love it so much that you would give your time for free. With a romantic relationship, you should be involved because you love it. Love is unconditional, otherwise it is conditional-love and that always comes at a high price –  your life. Love is something which should be given for[...]

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We Stopped When It Wasn’t Fun Anymore

‘We Stopped When It Wasn’t Fun Anymore’ – A close friend of mine said that was why they ended their relationship. What a fabulous, clean cut way to live; valuing your self-worth and achieving the ultimate goal of living a positive, happy life by participating only if the enjoyment is still present. Why do most people wait way past the expiry date of ‘it wasn’t fun anymore’, before[...]

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He/She Broke My Heart

When someone has decided that they no longer want to be in a relationship with you, it cuts deeply and the pain you feel is very physical. The grief from rejection can quite literally feel like a sharp pierce to your heart and the sadness all engulfing. Can you therefore claim that someone broke your heart? If you take a step back from the shock, from being surplus[...]

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Here We Go Again

Repeat, repeat when it should be delete. How many New Year’s resolutions fail, how many attempts to give up smoking, drinking or leave a toxic relationship end up starting all over again? Going back to the way they were with that sinking feeling of ‘here we go again’. Why do we do it? What is your repeat, repeat performace giving you, pleasure or pain coupled with a splash[...]

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It’s Not What You Want It’s What You Need

Childhood is probably the most significant time when we are being given a dose of what we need rather than what we want. Our lives, especially in the early days, is under the control of someone else. From being put to bed for an afternoon nap, being told you cannot go to certain events or hanging out with certain people. The decision of what you need is not[...]

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Once You See You Can’t Unsee

Alvia Turney “Once You See You Can’t Unsee”Mark Twain “It isn’t what you don’t know that gets you into trouble, it’s what you know for sure that just isn’t so”The Matrix movie “This is your last chance, after this there is no turning back, you take the blue pill the story ends (stay living, believing things are just as you see them). You take the red pill and[...]

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Watch Out for Croc’s

Watch Out for Croc’sI found this metaphor to share with you. Once upon a time there was a clever koala who lived by the Fitzroy River. A crocodile and his wife lived in the same river. One day, the crocodile’s wife fell very ill. She wanted to eat something special. She asked her husband to get her a koala’s heart. The crocodile thought of his neighbour, the koala.[...]

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To Be Or Not To Be

I was looking for something romantic to send out for my chat this month. I fell upon, who better than, William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet.The two quotes from the famous play below sums up Act4Tomorrow. We are not advocates for separation, we are advocates for living your life with someone you love and who loves you’ “Don’t waste your love on somebody, who doesn’t value it.” ? William[...]

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Take the Bark Out of Your Mirror

I recently read a little metaphor which really puts our perception into perception!The hall of a thousand mirrors… A dog walks into a castle and gets lost as he wanders from room to room. Finally, he finds himself in a hall of a thousand mirrors. Seeing so many dogs looking straight at him the dog was taken by surprise. He growled at the first dog he looked at[...]

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Liar, Liar Pants on Fire

If only a liar’s pants would spontaneously combust it would not only give you a clear sign that they were lying but would also be a punishment served.Why is it so difficult to tell if someone is lying? If the person is close to you, is your partner or work colleague, there will have been a buildup of trust within the relationship over time. This buildup of trust[...]

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Life Opens Up When You Stop Shutting It Down

Life opens up when you stop shutting it down. How do we open it up and how do we stop shutting it down? Simply by changing our language!CAN’T should be removed from our language and be replaced with WON’T. I can’t lose weight, I can’t change my job, I can’t study, I can’t jump out of a plane, I can’t leave my husband/wife, I can’t leave my boyfriend/girlfriend,[...]

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You Can’t See What You’re Not Looking For

Because I am clear on what I am looking for, my life is now constantly filled with the abundance of what I am looking for.So what does the expression “you can’t see what you’re not looking for” mean? To explain this the easiest example I can offer is the parking fairy. There are those of us who say we have a parking fairy because we always get a[...]

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Litmus Test for Your Relationship

The two questions below are a litmus test, to gauge how good or bad your relationship appears to be.Would your friends or family give you your relationship as a gift? and….. Would you give your relationship to your child or best friend? When both parties in a relationship feel mutually about one another, it ensures that there are naturally respectful boundaries in place.  With a romantic affiliation, I[...]

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What is Your Role in This Situation?

I remember the first time I was asked ‘what is your role in this situation?’ At that time in my life I did not understand how someone else’s actions toward me were, somehow, in anyway my responsibility. My answer then was a short retort ‘I don’t have a role in this, it is the other person doing this to me’. Now my answer would be totally different.How often[...]

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When is the Right Thing the Wrong Thing?

WHEN IS DOING THE RIGHT THING THE WRONG THING? How many times have you, or someone you know said “I am doing the right thing……..!” Staying in a job that’s hated, a relationship that no longer makes anyone happy, joining in family functions out of obligation, maintaining relationships with friends you no longer have anything in common, tolerating people you wish you had nothing to do with. Yes,[...]

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Right Now, Regret, Reflect!

People, especially clients are always saying to me “you always seem to be so happy and excited about everything, what is your secret?” I say “well for me it is all about living in the ‘Right Now’”. And then I am asked “what exactly does that mean?”There are so many books on living in the now, how the past is the past leave it there. That by living[...]

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Break-up Text, Email or Face to Face

Who said you have to break up face to face, that is definitely a fallacy of the past. Today e-mail and text is much, much more acceptable. Facebook or twitter private message can also work….I would suggest though that you don’t use a public post!  Couples communicate via text from their initial contact, courtship as well as throughout their entire relationships these days, so why not text the[...]

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Life After Divorce: From A Man’s Perspective

Divorce, separation and break-ups affect men and women in different ways. Alvia Turney, CEO of Act 4 Tomorrow, has a wealth of knowledge and experience when it comes to helping couples work through this often difficult time and here she gives an insight into a man’s perspective.Access to their children and the cost of child support coupled with their own living expenses, is a major concern for men[...]

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You Don’t Intentionally Start Out To Make A Bad Decision

If only I had known, then what I know now – hindsight is 20/20 vision.None of us start off intentionally trying to make a bad decision, well maybe in our teenage years we do some things to intentionally annoy our parents. In general, we make our decisions based on our hopes, dreams and desires. Love can cloud our judgment, wearing rose tinted glasses blurs the negative points of[...]

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